There is a bit of a catch-22 where you’re not allowed to discuss certain things, but those things aren’t explicitly laid out, so you both cannot easily discover them, nor can you directly ask about them.
In addition there are some auto replacements that happen to posts (the scammers at…, some lady and her ai ghost writer, data mining…) that are a weird middle ground. You can sort of talk about those things, but it’s difficult to know exactly what everyone is discussing until you sniff it out via contextual clues or finding someone who does some sort of s1lly t3xt repl@cing to get around the auto replacements. Which is often a person abiding by the spirit of the rules, and ignoring the letter of them.
You (and I!) are also new enough that we can’t talk about even more things vs more established members. That one is a little easier to figure out, and may be one of the things getting you flagged.
I’ve not actually managed to figure out either of the things you’re asking about in the original post, but I can at least sympathize a bit, and maybe the above helps you feel more like it’s system being a bit confusing and less a problem with you specifically.