kugelblitz
GLP-1 Novice
🚫No Source Discussion🚫
This is not my very first time taking GLP-1 medication, but it is the first time in a while, after having to quit liraglutide due to the cost. I took 1 mg of retatrutide yesterday, and today it is 5 pm and I have forgotten to eat the whole day. I doubt I need to tell anyone here how momentous this is for me, but I admit that I could not even if I were to try, because any words I know fail to capture the magnitude of it.
I've been at least overweight, but mostly obese, all my life. I have never known what it is to be seen by the world as somebody of normal weight. For what it's worth, it has never defined me, and I've never struggled too much with being, for the most part, accepted by society. I've certainly never felt the mockery and derision that some people, especially women, have experienced over their weight. As a man, aside from a few bros who don't truly wish me ill, polite society is far too... well, polite to be obvious about it.
But I have still, nonetheless, spent countless days trying to understand why I am different. Why can't I control myself? Other people manage it; am I so deficient in some essence of being a person that I have to stuff my face, obey every urge of my cravings, and eat compulsively and mindlessly? For me, this was always a particularly stark contrast because by nature I have virtually no other vices. I don't and have never smoked, I don't do recreational drugs, my alcohol intake is tiny, and I have never gambled any meaningful amount of money. I know what it is to have self-control in every other aspect of my life except for this.
I have tried to control myself. I have tried SO HARD. I spent countless nights battling with myself on whether I should get up from bed and eat anything in sight that seemed edible. I have spent countless hours in the gym, lost a lot of weight through the sheer force of will and painstaking calorie counting, and the moment the world sapped my single-minded focus, I was back at it, gaining weight. I've tried it all.
Then, 1 mg of a white substance shipped to me by a slightly dubious Chinese lab and... blessed silence. It's over. Like the flick of a switch. It's gone. Is this truly how other people live? They aren't compelled by some freak of biology to spend at least some portion of every waking moment thinking about the next meal? They just exist, and they eat to fill their energy needs, not in a vain attempt to fill some bottomless maw within them that condemns them to either shoving food down their gullet or obsessively thinking about the next time they'll shove food down their gullet.
Truth be told, I don't know what to do with myself now that I am violently confronted by the evidence of my own experience. Maybe, just maybe, I might have to consider putting down all the guilt that has been weighing on me more so than all this extra weight I have carried all my life. Is it possible that it is not entirely my fault?
I hope you will forgive me all this rambling. I'm having a true moment of catharsis here, and my only hope of connecting with anyone who might understand is you, my dear internet strangers.
If you have had this moment I'm having right now, please tell me. I want to hear.
Thank you for indulging me.
I've been at least overweight, but mostly obese, all my life. I have never known what it is to be seen by the world as somebody of normal weight. For what it's worth, it has never defined me, and I've never struggled too much with being, for the most part, accepted by society. I've certainly never felt the mockery and derision that some people, especially women, have experienced over their weight. As a man, aside from a few bros who don't truly wish me ill, polite society is far too... well, polite to be obvious about it.
But I have still, nonetheless, spent countless days trying to understand why I am different. Why can't I control myself? Other people manage it; am I so deficient in some essence of being a person that I have to stuff my face, obey every urge of my cravings, and eat compulsively and mindlessly? For me, this was always a particularly stark contrast because by nature I have virtually no other vices. I don't and have never smoked, I don't do recreational drugs, my alcohol intake is tiny, and I have never gambled any meaningful amount of money. I know what it is to have self-control in every other aspect of my life except for this.
I have tried to control myself. I have tried SO HARD. I spent countless nights battling with myself on whether I should get up from bed and eat anything in sight that seemed edible. I have spent countless hours in the gym, lost a lot of weight through the sheer force of will and painstaking calorie counting, and the moment the world sapped my single-minded focus, I was back at it, gaining weight. I've tried it all.
Then, 1 mg of a white substance shipped to me by a slightly dubious Chinese lab and... blessed silence. It's over. Like the flick of a switch. It's gone. Is this truly how other people live? They aren't compelled by some freak of biology to spend at least some portion of every waking moment thinking about the next meal? They just exist, and they eat to fill their energy needs, not in a vain attempt to fill some bottomless maw within them that condemns them to either shoving food down their gullet or obsessively thinking about the next time they'll shove food down their gullet.
Truth be told, I don't know what to do with myself now that I am violently confronted by the evidence of my own experience. Maybe, just maybe, I might have to consider putting down all the guilt that has been weighing on me more so than all this extra weight I have carried all my life. Is it possible that it is not entirely my fault?
I hope you will forgive me all this rambling. I'm having a true moment of catharsis here, and my only hope of connecting with anyone who might understand is you, my dear internet strangers.
If you have had this moment I'm having right now, please tell me. I want to hear.
Thank you for indulging me.
