I think what you are saying makes complete sense and I understand your sense of urgency. I think it is really rough that the trial sponsors have left you high and dry.
That said, there are SO MANY variables since this is all done in the grey area without a provider handing you a scrip and telling you exactly what to do. Folks that are much more experienced than I have seen people in these forums make rash decisions and make mistakes that can hurt them. I think that is why folks are telling you to go slow and to do lots of homework.
Off the top of my head these are some of the things I needed to understand more about before going forward: Learning how this forum, reddit pages, discord, and telegram sites work and what info seemed trustworthy, learning about different vendors (domestic and overseas), experienced users views on the vendors, recent customer service issues w/ overseas vendors, how testing works, which vendors have (current or legacy) safety issues, if there are group tests I could join, how group tests work, what payment methods I was comfortable with, tips and tricks for reconstituting, learning about Hospira Bac water, what dosage schedule seemed right for me. That is just a start.
Looking back I bought my first vial and some supplies from a domestic shop that me with several more weeks of knowledge probably wouldn't have and that now me definitely wouldn't recommend. I lived but looking back it makes me cringe.