Somehow "skinny" comments feel just as bad...

[leeann82]

To sum my journey up...in 2019, i started at over 350...i think it was actually 367, but im not entirely sure anymore....all i know is i was so horrified when I saw that number, I looked away as fast as I could. I went strict keto after quick research, learning along the way...did that for about a year and a half. Got down to 240 and stopped losing went. Went to mexico and had a gastric bypass. That got me down to 160. Went back to mexico 8 months after that surgery for skin removal #1, and back again another 6 months later for skin removal #2. 15 pounds of skin kn total was removed from both surgeries bringing me to 145. The next couple years, my life fell apart and I gained weight again and was now 178. This February.. the 6th, I started tirz...added in a few more peps over the next couple months. Today, I am 125 at 5'4" and right in the mid normal bmi range. The problem is...every day...multiple times a day...i keep getting comments, and they frankly feel just as bad as fat comments did. This week alone I've been asked twice if I have cancer, once if I was now a junkie, twice if I was anorexic and 5 times if I was sick. Was alsl told i look fragile and weak. Yes, my face has really narrowed out, I've also gotten older...just turned 44, and am in perimenopause. My cheeks are a bit sunken in...however...i think this is the best I've ever looked in my entire life. I wear a size small pants, or size 5 jeans, and a medium top. Im by no means a size 0 extra small...ive still got some chub. My ribs aren't sticking out...i have just started working out to gain muscle...

anyone else experienced this? This is really hitting my confidence hard...

 

[5byfive]

If you want to change yourself at this point, serious resistance training is definitely the thing to do, if you want to change what other people think and say, you are probably not going to have much luck with that. The only thing you can do is change how you frame it.

First, most people don't think before they talk, often they are just repeating a bunch of bad ideas that have been put in their head by people around them and society at large. Its often not what they think but how they were programmed. Second, someone commenting on how you look is probably not happy with themselves.

Ultimately, you have to take control of how you feel. There is a saying, no one can make you feel anything without your permission. When someone says something and you say to yourself "I'm not going to give that jerk the power to make me feel bad about myself" you take back your power over how you feel.

I could write pages but if you are really struggling with it, a good therapist can help you more with how to reframe things and deal with negativity from others.

Side note on hitting the gym. You have likely lost a lot of muscle that you could gain back pretty quickly if you lift weights with some good intensity. Women have a tendency not to push hard enough with weights to really see the gains they want. You can probably make some positive changes pretty fast if you push it.