Tired of being called "dear" and "honey"

angela_a

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Every time I request info from a vendor, I get replies addressing me as "dear" or "honey".

Today, I replied with "Thank you, darling". I realize, it's probably a cultural thing but I'm the furthest thing from a dear or a honey.

I guess I could be called worse.
 
Every time I request info from a vendor, I get replies addressing me as "dear" or "honey".

Today, I replied with "Thank you, darling". I realize, it's probably a cultural thing but I'm the furthest thing from a dear or a honey.

I guess I could be called worse.
You would have liked Tracy. Famous for telling customers to eat shit.
 
Every time I request info from a vendor, I get replies addressing me as "dear" or "honey".

Today, I replied with "Thank you, darling". I realize, it's probably a cultural thing but I'm the furthest thing from a dear or a honey.

I guess I could be called worse.
I’m not sure if it’s cultural.
Except for Kawal, all my Indian vendors call me Sir.
I think I prefer the Chinese vendors.
 
So I asked Claude AI why this is done and here is the response:

This practice stems from Chinese customer service culture and direct translation patterns. In Chinese business communication, vendors commonly use terms like:


  • 亲 (qīn) - literally means "dear/close one," widely used in online sales
  • 亲爱的 (qīn'ài de) - means "dear" or "beloved"
  • 美女 (měinǚ) - "beautiful lady" (for female customers)
  • 帅哥 (shuàigē) - "handsome guy" (for male customers)

The term 亲 (qīn) is especially popular on Chinese e-commerce platforms like Taobao and became standard in online customer service. When Chinese sellers communicate in English, they often directly translate these familiar, affectionate terms as "dear" or "honey."


This translation choice also reflects cultural differences in business relationships. Chinese commercial culture tends to emphasize building personal connections and warmth with customers, even in transactional relationships. What might seem overly familiar to Western customers is actually a standard way of showing friendliness and good service in Chinese business culture.


The frequent use of "dear" by Chinese sellers is essentially them applying their familiar customer service language patterns to English, not realizing that such terms can sound unusual or overly intimate to native English speakers who expect more formal business communication from strangers.
 
Has anyone been to China? If so, how were you addressed or treated by service people in person?
 
Has anyone been to China? If so, how were you addressed or treated by service people in person?
Probably in Chinese 😉

It's similar to Arab cultures that address everyone as "my friend". It's just a quirk of translation and mismatch in cultural expectations. It's like how the French get pissed off (I could end the sentence here and it would stand fine on its own lol) if you address them without saying hello first.
 
I grew up in the south. If a waitress called me honey it was an automatic 10% extra on the tip. I respond well to people being nice to me even if I know they're not really serious, it's the thought that counts. Honey, dear, friend, it's all good to me, we could all use a little more civility in the world.
 
For those of us old enough to remember postal letters: almost without exception in the USA, we began with "Dear Mrs. McGillicuddy" ... even business letters from both sides, and even when they were of an adversarial nature (e.g., legal or customer service issues). Or involving zero personal familiarity to an anonymous person: "Dear Sir or Madam."
 
I deal with China on occasion for work. Generally I terminate conversations with Xie Xie (thank you). The vendors appreciate politeness from customers.
 
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