When spouse supports your health journey, until....

[MTSpace]

When your spouse or significant other supports your health journey until it interferes with their fun or lifestyle.

I need some advice as I am trying to be a healthier version of myself through "assistance" with peptides, trt, & lifestyle. My wife is genuinely supportive of me getting healthy, but only to a certain point. The moment my new habits interfere with her unhealthy routine, things get ackward.

For example, I dont really care for alcohol (or I start the party which is not a good thing for my goals), most take out, or processed food anymore. But those used to be things we shared. Now if I pass on the drinks or only eat a few bites of fries while out to dinner, I an feel like I am ruining her fun. We have discussed this and she almost feels like I am judging her by not participating with her. Like my new habits are ruining her fun.

Has anyone dealt with this? We are very good at communicating, but poor at adjusting to change together. How do you stay on track with long-term biohacking to optimize your health without causing tension at the dinner table or making your spouse feel judged? Any ideas or shared experiences are appreciated.

 

[wildweasel]

When your spouse or significant other supports your health journey until it interferes with their fun or lifestyle.

I need some advice as I am trying to be a healthier version of myself through "assistance" with peptides, trt, & lifestyle. My wife is genuinely supportive of me getting healthy, but only to a certain point. The moment my new habits interfere with her unhealthy routine, things get ackward.

For example, I dont really care for alcohol (or I start the party which is not a good thing for my goals), most take out, or processed food anymore. But those used to be things we shared. Now if I pass on the drinks or only eat a few bites of fries while out to dinner, I an feel like I am ruining her fun. We have discussed this and she almost feels like I am judging her by not participating with her. Like my new habits are ruining her fun.

Has anyone dealt with this? We are very good at communicating, but poor at adjusting to change together. How do you stay on track with long-term biohacking to optimize your health without causing tension at the dinner table or making your spouse feel judged? Any ideas or shared experiences are appreciated.

my wife and i have similar differences, but we get along. we both exercise a lot, but i am a health food nut, she drinks, i stopped drinking a year ago, I started taking steroids and peptides, she likes eating greast fatty meat... we dont judge each other at all. as long as we are both healthy and responsible adults we respect each others choices.

Best advice: I would suggest look inward first. listen to her, actually listen to what she says exactly, not what you think she is saying. be sure that you are not acting or treating her differently or inadvertently signaling to her in a negative way ("I dont want fries, they arent good for you", "I dont get why people drink so much"), you can change your own habbits, you cant change hers, so look towards yourself frist.

We have discussed this and she almost feels like I am judging her by not participating with her. Like my new habits are ruining her fun.

There is some dynamic here you either dont realize or are not talking about...so many things here i dont understand based on that statement.... why are your new eating habits even affecting her at all? Are you trying to force them on her? Is it unusual for you two to order your own food at restaurants or something? Why cant you go out to drinks with her and order soda water? why cant she order french fries and you order the veggies?

There is some piece of the story here missing that is causing this dynamic.

 

[Airborne Daddy]

When your spouse or significant other supports your health journey until it interferes with their fun or lifestyle.

I need some advice as I am trying to be a healthier version of myself through "assistance" with peptides, trt, & lifestyle. My wife is genuinely supportive of me getting healthy, but only to a certain point. The moment my new habits interfere with her unhealthy routine, things get ackward.

For example, I dont really care for alcohol (or I start the party which is not a good thing for my goals), most take out, or processed food anymore. But those used to be things we shared. Now if I pass on the drinks or only eat a few bites of fries while out to dinner, I an feel like I am ruining her fun. We have discussed this and she almost feels like I am judging her by not participating with her. Like my new habits are ruining her fun.

Has anyone dealt with this? We are very good at communicating, but poor at adjusting to change together. How do you stay on track with long-term biohacking to optimize your health without causing tension at the dinner table or making your spouse feel judged? Any ideas or shared experiences are appreciated.

Let her go and well be roomdawgs...

 

[jsc1980]

Have you tried to include her in simple things. Like maybe taking walks together. Or you mention only eating a few fries; what about ordering something healthier to share? Not presenting it as a healthier option but rather something new/different to try together.

Looking back to when my wife was pregnant years ago, she obviously couldn't drink and I felt bad if we went somewhere and I wanted to have a drink. We discussed it and ended up viewing it as having a guaranteed designated driver. Sometimes a shift in perspective is all that's needed.

 

[CJsMom]

You can still share them. Just less often. Give yourself a cheat day and have a margarita, or ask for an alcohol free version of whatever she’s having. Eat less during the day when you know you are going out so you’ll have more appetite. Or have a salad while out instead of a burger and fries. Or what I used to do was ask for a takeout box with my orders and cut the burger in half from the start to take home for tomorrows lunch. Obviously you don’t want to eat takeout or restaurant food 4 or 5 days a week, but if that’s how you live (understandable in a two working adult home), order the chicken sandwich instead of the loaded cheese steak, eat one slice of the pizza instead of 2 or 3. You can still participate in whatever, just not at the same level. I doubt your wife got enjoyment out of watching you stuff your face. The pleasure comes from watching you enjoy yourself, whatever you eat, and more importantly the company. If you talk about what you can and can’t eat when you’re out together, it’s a downer. But if you just order what you want, even if it’s just a salad, and eat it with pleasure and good conversation, I doubt her fun would be diminished.

 

[rkbleddyn]

'Has anyone dealt with this? '

Only every man who has ever been married to a woman, on the entire planet for all of history 😂 Sorry, bro, I feel your pain.

IMHO, and I'm no expert and neither is anyone else and if they tell you they are, run away cause they be lyin!

But, I think, having dealt with very similar situations over the 16+ years of my marriage, I might have some valuable insight into this. Don't try to win an argument about this because you can't. Just don't talk about it too much. Just be you and let her be her.

My wife got so upset with me when I started doing a low carb diet, because she loves carbs. She's also her ideal weight ( a little too thin I think) and she's cheating you know, because she's been doing the very lowest .25mg of Ozempic FOR YEARS! And if I mention that last fact, she gets really angry, so I don't!

So, she says 'You don't like my food, you don't love me'. Well, there is no reasonable response to that. So I don't take the bait.

My wife is also taking BPC-157, GHK cu, and will probably add KPV when I do.

Bottom line, I'm not going to try to win her approval for my lifestyle and I don't tell her what to do. I think this is your only defense, bro. Sorry ladies, but you know I ain't lyin!

 

[Pocket]

It sounds to me like those activities are things that you all bonded over. Hence she is upset now because what helped bring you two together isn't there anymore. You might try finding new things to bond with her at so that way she doesn't feel like she is losing her partner while the those things you originally bonded over die off. The hard part though is she is showing that she still wants the things you bonded over originally. So you have to try and find something you two can do together that excites her more than those. Also I am a blue collar laborer, not a counselor, and I am divorced. So take my advice with a few grains of salt.......maybe a lime wedge too. Fwiw, I hope it helps and you two are able to work it out.

 

[Bunnyfoofoo]

When your spouse or significant other supports your health journey until it interferes with their fun or lifestyle.

I need some advice as I am trying to be a healthier version of myself through "assistance" with peptides, trt, & lifestyle. My wife is genuinely supportive of me getting healthy, but only to a certain point. The moment my new habits interfere with her unhealthy routine, things get ackward.

For example, I dont really care for alcohol (or I start the party which is not a good thing for my goals), most take out, or processed food anymore. But those used to be things we shared. Now if I pass on the drinks or only eat a few bites of fries while out to dinner, I an feel like I am ruining her fun. We have discussed this and she almost feels like I am judging her by not participating with her. Like my new habits are ruining her fun.

Has anyone dealt with this? We are very good at communicating, but poor at adjusting to change together. How do you stay on track with long-term biohacking to optimize your health without causing tension at the dinner table or making your spouse feel judged? Any ideas or shared experiences are appreciated.

I got my SO to start taking Reta too, started low and slow but hoping he'll lose his remaining vices as well. Good luck!

 

[5byfive]

At this point, I really struggle to let myself get off plan even for a day. That doesn't mean we can't go to restaurants or even out for something like ice cream. On days I know we are going to go out, I plan my calories for the rest of the day around it. I will cut back on calories earlier in the day so going out won't get me off plan. You can go out and enjoy the things you used to, often in smaller portions, without getting off track.

 

[MTSpace]

my wife and i have similar differences, but we get along. we both exercise a lot, but i am a health food nut, she drinks, i stopped drinking a year ago, I started taking steroids and peptides, she likes eating greast fatty meat... we dont judge each other at all. as long as we are both healthy and responsible adults we respect each others choices.

Best advice: I would suggest look inward first. listen to her, actually listen to what she says exactly, not what you think she is saying. be sure that you are not acting or treating her differently or inadvertently signaling to her in a negative way ("I dont want fries, they arent good for you", "I dont get why people drink so much"), you can change your own habbits, you cant change hers, so look towards yourself frist.


There is some dynamic here you either dont realize or are not talking about...so many things here i dont understand based on that statement.... why are your new eating habits even affecting her at all? Are you trying to force them on her? Is it unusual for you two to order your own food at restaurants or something? Why cant you go out to drinks with her and order soda water? why cant she order french fries and you order the veggies?

There is some piece of the story here missing that is causing this dynamic.

Good perspective on looking inward. I may be looking outward too much.

I’m not sure if there is another dynamic at play. I think we will adjust over time, but I do want to make things easier on her, which admittedly would also make the lifestyle change easier on me.

When we go out, I typically order a salad with a lean protein, rarely use dressing, and drink water with lemon/lime. She has always loved her carbs, & I think one of the adjustments for her is that I no longer share food the way I used to. In the past, I would eat my meal & then help finish half of hers. That was just part of our routine and our relationship.

The same is true with wine. We used to go out for a few glasses several times a week. I am now approaching three years sober, and that has been a significant change for both of us. I will still go with her if she wants a glass of wine, but I have learned that I cannot sit at our old hangouts for two hours drinking water & not feel tempted. I have slipped in the past, so I have to be mindful of that.

Your point about not acting differently toward her or treating her differently is well taken. I don’t believe I do, but I am going to spend some time reflecting on that to make sure I’m not projecting something subconsciously without realizing it.

Thank you for the perspective. It gave me something to think about.

 

[MTSpace]

Have you tried to include her in simple things. Like maybe taking walks together. Or you mention only eating a few fries; what about ordering something healthier to share? Not presenting it as a healthier option but rather something new/different to try together.

Looking back to when my wife was pregnant years ago, she obviously couldn't drink and I felt bad if we went somewhere and I wanted to have a drink. We discussed it and ended up viewing it as having a guaranteed designated driver. Sometimes a shift in perspective is all that's needed.

Yes, we are best friends & have a wonderful relationship, but this adjustment has been more significant than I anticipated. Because of my health conditions, these lifestyle changes are necessary to improve & maintain my quality of life.

I really appreciate the perspective of viewing myself as the “guaranteed designated driver.” That’s a positive mindset shift that I had not considered, and it’s something I will definitely play on moving forward.

 

[MTSpace]

You can still share them. Just less often. Give yourself a cheat day and have a margarita, or ask for an alcohol free version of whatever she’s having. Eat less during the day when you know you are going out so you’ll have more appetite. Or have a salad while out instead of a burger and fries. Or what I used to do was ask for a takeout box with my orders and cut the burger in half from the start to take home for tomorrows lunch. Obviously you don’t want to eat takeout or restaurant food 4 or 5 days a week, but if that’s how you live (understandable in a two working adult home), order the chicken sandwich instead of the loaded cheese steak, eat one slice of the pizza instead of 2 or 3. You can still participate in whatever, just not at the same level. I doubt your wife got enjoyment out of watching you stuff your face. The pleasure comes from watching you enjoy yourself, whatever you eat, and more importantly the company. If you talk about what you can and can’t eat when you’re out together, it’s a downer. But if you just order what you want, even if it’s just a salad, and eat it with pleasure and good conversation, I doubt her fun would be diminished.

I am a bit OCD and that translates to not happy unless all things as they should be in my own prisoned mind. Your point is well taken on her pleasure was watching me enjoy myself. I am wound a bit tight. 🙂

 

[MTSpace]

'Has anyone dealt with this? '

Only every man who has ever been married to a woman, on the entire planet for all of history 😂 Sorry, bro, I feel your pain.

IMHO, and I'm no expert and neither is anyone else and if they tell you they are, run away cause they be lyin!

But, I think, having dealt with very similar situations over the 16+ years of my marriage, I might have some valuable insight into this. Don't try to win an argument about this because you can't. Just don't talk about it too much. Just be you and let her be her.

My wife got so upset with me when I started doing a low carb diet, because she loves carbs. She's also her ideal weight ( a little too thin I think) and she's cheating you know, because she's been doing the very lowest .25mg of Ozempic FOR YEARS! And if I mention that last fact, she gets really angry, so I don't!

So, she says 'You don't like my food, you don't love me'. Well, there is no reasonable response to that. So I don't take the bait.

My wife is also taking BPC-157, GHK cu, and will probably add KPV when I do.

Bottom line, I'm not going to try to win her approval for my lifestyle and I don't tell her what to do. I think this is your only defense, bro. Sorry ladies, but you know I ain't lyin!

Thanks "only every man who has ever been married to a woman..." I laughed out loud in front of several people when I read this.

Sounds like your wife is at least into the biohacking. My wife has no interest so I will not be pushing that button.

 

[PastelPinkprincess]

When your spouse or significant other supports your health journey until it interferes with their fun or lifestyle.

I need some advice as I am trying to be a healthier version of myself through "assistance" with peptides, trt, & lifestyle. My wife is genuinely supportive of me getting healthy, but only to a certain point. The moment my new habits interfere with her unhealthy routine, things get ackward.

For example, I dont really care for alcohol (or I start the party which is not a good thing for my goals), most take out, or processed food anymore. But those used to be things we shared. Now if I pass on the drinks or only eat a few bites of fries while out to dinner, I an feel like I am ruining her fun. We have discussed this and she almost feels like I am judging her by not participating with her. Like my new habits are ruining her fun.

Has anyone dealt with this? We are very good at communicating, but poor at adjusting to change together. How do you stay on track with long-term biohacking to optimize your health without causing tension at the dinner table or making your spouse feel judged? Any ideas or shared experiences are appreciated.

I would say try new things together. You need other ways to bond other than the usual or else you run the risk of her feeling like you are leaving her behind. I feel like in a relationship you should be constantly evolving anyway.

 

[MTSpace]

I would say try new things together. You need other ways to bond other than the usual or else you run the risk of her feeling like you are leaving her behind. I feel like in a relationship you should be constantly evolving anyway.

Love the idea of trying something new. Now you changed my paradigm 🙂

 

[wildweasel]

Good perspective on looking inward. I may be looking outward too much.

I’m not sure if there is another dynamic at play. I think we will adjust over time, but I do want to make things easier on her, which admittedly would also make the lifestyle change easier on me.

When we go out, I typically order a salad with a lean protein, rarely use dressing, and drink water with lemon/lime. She has always loved her carbs, & I think one of the adjustments for her is that I no longer share food the way I used to. In the past, I would eat my meal & then help finish half of hers. That was just part of our routine and our relationship.

The same is true with wine. We used to go out for a few glasses several times a week. I am now approaching three years sober, and that has been a significant change for both of us. I will still go with her if she wants a glass of wine, but I have learned that I cannot sit at our old hangouts for two hours drinking water & not feel tempted. I have slipped in the past, so I have to be mindful of that.

Your point about not acting differently toward her or treating her differently is well taken. I don’t believe I do, but I am going to spend some time reflecting on that to make sure I’m not projecting something subconsciously without realizing it.

Thank you for the perspective. It gave me something to think about.

Best of luck to you

 

[jsc1980]

Sounds like your wife is at least into the biohacking. My wife has no interest so I will not be pushing that button.

Things could always change. I've been on TRT for 14 years and did a few runs of peptides several years ago. My wife had no interest in any of that type of stuff at the time but she decided to try Zepbound (dr prescribed) about a year ago and lost a bunch of weight. After that, she got really into learning more about peps, etc. Now she wants to try GHK-CU (should be here Monday) and other stuff. Never push, but she may see your results and decide to try something at some point. Only time will tell, but make yourself available to answer questions or make her feel comfortable if she does change her perspective in the future.

 

[MTSpace]

Things could always change. I've been on TRT for 14 years and did a few runs of peptides several years ago. My wife had no interest in any of that type of stuff at the time but she decided to try Zepbound (dr prescribed) about a year ago and lost a bunch of weight. After that, she got really into learning more about peps, etc. Now she wants to try GHK-CU (should be here Monday) and other stuff. Never push, but she may see your results and decide to try something at some point. Only time will tell, but make yourself available to answer questions or make her feel comfortable if she does change her perspective in the future.

I would love if she naturally came to this longevity, healthier lifestyle on her own. I dare not push this as she would push back hard and she is strong!

 

[anhydrous]

I would plan 1-2 dates a month that don't involve food. I would try a more thorough explanation of how the drug makes you feel to her. You could suggest that she take 1 dose to see how it feels on her end when you're not hungry at all or forget what food even is. If none of those work then that I'd say she needs to get over it or get lost.

 

[DunningKruger]

I'm sorry that you're also experiencing a disconnect. I would be gentle with her, and always reply in a loving and lighthearted manner when she feels judged. Touch, a gentle forehead kiss, and a smile really help here. She needs safety, and even though it's her own insecurity making her feel unsafe, you can't exactly point that out.

Coming from a female's perspective, I would guess that she is seeing your growth as a mirror to an old wound of her not being enough. Similar to how drinkers take it personally if you don't have a drink too once you quit. The inner critic also likes to toy with females as we age; a wrinkle here and a grey hair there hit hard, even for those who embrace aging.

I also deal with this and have not found a way around it. We have been together a decade and it has actually driven us further apart.

 

[rkbleddyn]

Thanks "only every man who has ever been married to a woman..." I laughed out loud in front of several people when I read this.

Sounds like your wife is at least into the biohacking. My wife has no interest so I will not be pushing that button.

My wife is into anything that is for skin or hair. She's not into getting into technical discussions about how it works or why she should take it. So I just tell her 'this is what this is and this is what the anecdotal evidence says it might do'. But she's also a believer in BPC-157 now because she has some gastric issues from her Ozempic still even on very low dose and after years and says it is improving that

That's really why I threw that out there is kind of a way to say 'share this with your partner, but don't push, preach, or argue, because you will get the opposite of what you were looking for despite the best of intentions'. It took me a long while to learn this, the hard way.

Now if she sees me filling up a syringe earlier in the day when I do my GHK cu, she'll say 'hey, where's my blue shot?'.

 

[BNLFL]

My wife is on Reta too, same dose. It tends to hit harder me than her. I feel full all the time, but get small portions down. She doesn't anywhere like she used to either. She agrees on how we're eating. We both would like to out to eat at a good place for steaks, but know that would be a waste. Still do lunch on Wednesday at a local place for 6 or 10 wings. We do go out for a couple with friends often, but I normally only have 2 beers. Now, she thinks I'm losing to much weight. Then I'll show her the stubborn belly and side fat. Almost done, like 10 more stubborn pounds, then I'll figure out a maintenance dose. We're both retired, so we spend a lot of time together, but we worked together for 22 years, so no big deal.
Maybe you should bend just a little. Best of luck.